End all Relationship Pain & Suffering.
We human beings are “social animals” and we need others; that is indisputable. But how much do we need them? Where is the line that distinguishes a healthy connection from an emotional addiction that produces high levels of anxiety?
In relationships with significant others, emotional dependency or anxiety comes into play, and the relationship, far from being a form of support, turns into an obstacle for the development and even for the mental health of the two partners. Enabling the negative characteristics to flourish turns into a downward spiral that ultimately destroys the original love.
If you are experiencing unhappiness in your relationship, it could be due to the fact that you are living in addictively. Here are some warning signs that may indicate some level of emotional addiction to your partner.
- High levels of anxiety
- Are you suffering (such as sadness or anxiety) and you still feel incapable of changing paths or leaving them, it is highly probable that you have some degree of emotional dependence. Relationships are complicated and require effort, but not suffering.
- A concrete sign of addiction is that you are not doing any activity outside of the relationship. Be it a hobby, studies, a career, friends… if everything you do is with your partner, your relationship is probably addictive or dependent.
- Does your partner have an inability to be alone? Maybe you have gotten so used to sharing everything with your partner that you no longer know what to do when you are alone.
- Do you suffer from fears of being abandoned?
- You have strange thoughts or beliefs that you could not live without your significant other or that our life would have no meaning without them.
- Jealousy is often another good indicator of an addictive relationship, as it is related to insecurity and a lack of communication.
“Love” that comes from fear isn’t love — it’s neediness and on a certain level pathological. Emotional dependency comes from an inner emptiness that is created when you abandon yourself — it is then expecting your significant other to fill your emptiness and make you feel loved and safe.
Can you identify with any of these?
- Are you making up the person you think you are in love with?
- Have you discovered from past relationships that you have a tendency to idealize people?
- Do you project onto them how you want them to be, rather than how they are?
- Are you primarily focused on how your partner treats you, rather than who he or she really is inside?
- Are you overly impressed by how this person makes you feel special?
- Have you made your partner responsible for your happiness, worth and safety?
- Do you feel anxious or panicked when you are not with your partner, or when he or she doesn’t call when you expected?
- Do you have a list of expectations that your partner has to meet for you to feel loved and safe?
- Do you feel depressed?
- Are you terrified of losing this person?
- Do you feel empty and alone inside unless your partner is with you, giving you the attention and approval that you are not giving to yourself?
- Do you feel jealous and possessive of your partner?
- Do you try to have control over getting your partner to do what you want him or her to do?